January 26, 2014

Good evening, everyone. I hope y’all had a fabulous week. Is it just me, or did it feel like the longest week ever?! Better enjoy the last few moments of the weekend that we have left…

I am writing this post just as a little booster to anyone who needs it, & I am about to open up big time. Life has been very stressful on my end, & I needed an uplifting desperately. I have been very up-&-down lately, & felt lost at most times. I had not been attending Church because I felt as if God was not listening to me. I prayed for happiness, no matter how it came to me. Here's the news: I had spoken to a doctor a few months, & he diagnosed me with severe depression. I know this may come to a shock to many of you because it does not seem that way on social media. I did not want to show it to anyone because I felt ashamed of myself. I had zero motivation in life anymore, I was the furthest from being happy, & I felt like giving up. No matter what I did, nothing was going right. I had become very good at hiding this, because I did not want anyone to see my pain. (To show how well I was hiding it, none of my family members even knew what I was going through. I am so so sorry, Mom. You seemed so proud of me, and I did not want to disappoint you and let you down.) It was very tough going day-by-day having girls contact me, telling me how much of an inspiration I am, because I did not feel anything like an inspiration. I have made a few mistakes in life, & I could not get over them. I tried to forget them but I couldn’t help but think of how differently things would be had I not made them. I prayed & prayed to be forgiven, but something just didn’t feel like God had forgiven me quite yet.

If you are still reading, thank you.

I read a bible verse today, which inspired me to write this & share how I am feeling: “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others for their sins, your Father will not forgive your sinsMatthew 6:14-15. With that said, I am asking for forgiveness, from those who know me personally & from those who do not. I now know that the Lord has forgiven me, & I feel eternally grateful for that. Now, please do not mistake this for pity. That’s the complete opposite of what I want. I want everyone who is reading this to understand that no matter what you have gone through, no matter what you have done, you are a beautiful, beautiful human being & the Lord has righteously forgiven you. Each & every one of you has a purpose in life, & I am begging you not to give up. It has taken me realizing this to know not to give up. I truly believe I have conquered what has taken over me. I know it was just the Devil trying to make me lose the Lord, myself, & then fend for him. I felt so alone for so long, & did not realize that God was with me the whole time, holding me up & preaching His love to me. I know it is so easy to feel abandoned & scared, but you must know that He will never ever leave you.

Thank you for letting me open up. I am saying this from the bottom of my heart- please reach out to me if you ever need anything. I am very busy with school & my internship, but I will make time for you, 110%. I apologize if I upset you in any way by writing this post; that was not my intention at all. I want to make sure each & every one of you knows just how special and loved you are. You may not feel it at times, but I promise you, you are. Xoxo

”The Lord loves righteousness and justice; the earth is full of His unfailing love.” Psalm 33:5

“But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8
“Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever.” 1 Chronicles 16:34
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your path.” Proverbs 3:5-6 (My favorite verse!) 


  1. This was beautiful. Thank you so much for opening up and sharing.

  2. Kelsey.

    You are so brave to open up and share your experience with depression. Please know that you are an inspiration to those who are struggling with their own battles. You are talented, beautiful, and strong. You WILL get through this! Trust in God - your future is bright!


  3. So glad you opened up like this, one of my best friends has been diagnosed with depression and I know how hard it can be. I'll be keeping you in my prayers! The Lord is so much stronger than any hardship we go through on this earth.

  4. Thanks for sharing, Kelsey! God is so good, and it takes a lot of strength to be able to open up about weaknesses!


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  6. Kelsey, I commend you for opening up and writing this blog! It really touches my heart with the words you said. I've recently learned that in all of our own struggles, someone else is dealing with the same things too. To have you share this made me realize that in my own life, I am not alone. I could go on forever about what I mean by that lol but just know that you ARE an inspiration! Sharing your personal struggles and how God is moving in your life is an inspiration to many! Keep your head up girl, God has you in His hands all the time! Thank you for sharing!

  7. Thank you so much for this post! I honestly don't know how people get through life without trusting in God. He has a plan for every single one of our lives and we just have to trust in him. I will pray that God continues to show himself to you and that you continue to trust in him!

  8. Kelsey, I was diagnosed with depression two years ago and still struggle with it everyday. I commend you for opening up because I never did. I hid it for a long time. It's encouraging to see God work in your life.


  9. Your thoughts and feelings are incredibly beautiful, true, and inspiring! You have no need to apologize for upsetting anyone!

  10. Kelsey Layne Tucker.

    You have made me adore you even more than I already had, and I didn't know that was possible. You are so humble and honest, and for that I commend you. You not only inspire me with your style but with who you are as a person. It's strange, I know. How can you know someone through social media? But character shines through in every presence physical and cyber. And your character is one of greatness. You treat people so kindly and with respect. You make me want to be a better person. I'm only sixteen but I'm very mature for my age, or so I've been told. I've been through alot even with my young age, which has caused me to be diagnosed with severe depression, anxiety and mild insomnia. I know there will be a ton more battles and trials thrown my way but people like you keep me uplifted (aside from the good Lord, of course). So thank you Kelsey from the bottom of my heart. I will be grateful for you for eternity. xoxox

  11. You are so strong and make me such a proud follower. God is with you through every journey even if it might not seem like it. If God puts you to it He will put you through it. If you ever need to talk, feel free! God bless and we're all here for you.

  12. Kelsey, I found a bunch of my friends follow you on instagram and we follow a lot of the same fashion bloggers. I just realized that I think we went to Temecula Middle School together. Anyways, I just wanted to thank you for writing this and I know our family situation is pretty similar so just know your not alone and I still struggle with a lot of the things your going through. A few months ago I joined a grief group (I never thought my situation was a grief issue, but it is) and I'm doing like 200x better. Seriously, its amazing!! I'm still just starting my journey with God, even though I never doubted his existence, and it is amazing what He can do. God will never put you through something you can't handle. I have a devotional calendar and today's quote was "In hard times she had learned three things- she was stronger that she ever imagined, Jesus was closer tan she ever realized, and she was loved more than she ever knew." Just thought I'd share, if you ever want to talk, I'm here.


  13. Kelsey,

    I am thankful for people like you who are brave enough to post about something that is still surrounded by such an unnecessary stigma. Sometimes it is hard to share things like this, but imagine how many people your story has helped and will continue to help! God will never let us down, no matter how many times we feel like we have failed him. Hang in there & take things day by day! I am praying for you, and I am here if you ever need someone to talk to!


  14. Sending you lots of hugs and prayers. The Lord is always with you but I completely understand not feeling his presence daily and struggling. Luckily we know that we can rest in Him even through the trials and temptations of the Devil.

  15. Yes, girl I definitely understand what you are going through. I recently have gone through the same thing and I know how hard it is to be there. You kind of just hold on and pray that you come through it stronger and you don't let go of your faith. He wouldn't let me go even though I was almost bitter about going to church and mad I didn't understand! I will be praying for you:)))
    & A new 'blogging friend' haha just added you! I've been following your instagram and just realized I wasn't following the blog yet!

  16. I suffered from severe depression a few years ago, and it took a lot of hard work, as well as constant love and support from friends and family, to finally be happy with my life and who I am. Stay strong, and you will get there too! If you ever want to talk to someone, please reach out :)


  17. This was a great post! You're doing awesome! Hoping it all goes uphill from here!

  18. I know exactly how you feel. Over the last 5+ years I have been struggling with depression, and finally in the last month decided to get help. The hardest part is telling people - telling my dad, who I feel like I have disappointed to the greatest extent, was the hardest. The first step to help though is realizing you need help, and it sounds like that is what you are doing. I know for me my friends and family kept telling me, :"You're so blessed. You are at a great college, you have great friends, and you are on a path to success." We have might have money, cars, cute clothes, etc. but just because we have all these things doesn't mean we are happy. Yes, all that is great, but sometimes you can't help but feel you don't belong here anymore, or would be better off gone. People who haven't gone through depression don't understand that and never will. Even though we only know each other through social media, know that I am here if you ever need to talk. Having someone who understands exactly what you are going through helps tremendously.

    I have been on medication for just over a week now and already notice a difference. Medication isn't for everyone, but seeking help whether its medication or just a therapist will greatly benefit you.

    Good luck with everything you endeavor, and like I said, if you ever need anyone let me know!